Creating Your Own Wedding Ceremony

At first the task of designing your own wedding ceremony may appear to be an overwhelming campaign. There really are so many choices that you need to get clear in your head before starting to make the preparations. It could be that you want a large wedding with all your family and friends, or a small service attended by just a few people. The cost, which can be substantial, will no doubt be an important controlling factor in many people’s considerations. However the first items to consider will be

• The size of the wedding that you want
• The theme of the wedding
• Whether the service would be civil or religious
• The time of year and time of day you want to have the service

So the first thing is to write these down with a few notes of what you want. Spend some time on this as everything else will flow from these early decisions. Getting this right at the outset will help save you a lot of time and effort in the future.

For the personalisation of the wedding service, get a copy of the standard wedding service, be it religious or civil. Many of these have areas where you can insert your own customization. The Anglican Church for instance has a traditional service from the Common Book of Prayer but also have ‘Alternative Service Book’. Other non-conformist churches have no set service and may just have guidelines. There are however certain minimum legal requirements for a marriage ceremony and it is best to make sure that these are included! If you want to make a major change then speak to the official or minister concerned and ask about it early. Would they have any objection for instance of the bride arriving by parachute from a plane (it has been done!).

Typically there are various choices that the bride and groom can make for their service; these include music that is played, the hymns that are sung, clothing, rings, location and vows. There is also the choice of transport to and from the service, be it a traditional Rolls Royce or something a little different, such as a Harley Davidson motorbike. You will have to think practically however as you can’t really wear a flowing wedding dress whilst on a tandem!

The vows you make in a Church of England or Catholic Church are however very strict. There are options on whether you choose to ‘obey’ or not, and can exchange ‘respect’ for ‘honour’. For these churches the vows are also near the beginning of the ceremony. An idea maybe to move an extra hymn towards the beginning - making the vows more central to the service.

The key to a successful wedding is to get clear what you want in your own mind, plan well and then enjoy it. There are many publications on wedding planning both in printed and on the net. Look at lots of them for inspiration and hints and tips. You may also want to involve the services of a wedding planner to help you – but make sure that you have your own ideas or options and let them build on them and help fill in the finer details. Enlist the help of reliable family and friends to help organize the wedding. There is a lot to think about and certain tasks such as booking cars, writing wedding invitations, checking on progress can be easily delegate once you know what you want and need. Break it down into small pieces and take each one in turn. And the main thing - try to enjoy organising it!

Paul Klein lives and works in Loughborough. He is currently undertaking a project to create a wedding resource just for Loughborough. The work todate can be seen at Loughborough Wedding which to date has information on venues, photographys, florists , wedding stationery and wedding gift ideas.